Addressing Changes: Wardrobe Throughout Perimenopause and Menopause
“Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes,” sang David Bowie. Yep. Life is full of changes, and some are more significant than others. For many women, the arrival of perimenopause and menopause can be one of the most profound physical and emotional changes they'll experience. It can often feel overwhelming, alienating, and frustrating, as everything from body temperature to body shape starts to shift. In addition to that, pop-culture messaging can make it feel like life is over. Or that your value has decreased, for some inexplicable reason. We’re here to say f-that. It’s challenging, of course, but you have a whole BU community to help you! And, believe it or not, but clothes can be a potent tool for navigating these changes, allowing you to feel connected to your body and the world around you.
Here are common questions we get from our personal style clients. Any of these sound familiar?
“How do I dress in a way that covers my belly? I hate the way I look and feel.”
“Every time I try on "work" clothes, I look round and like a frumpy grandma. Where do I shop now?”
“How do I dress in a way to make it look like I have curves again? I feel like a rectangle.”
“I feel hot all the time. Until I’m freezing. How can I manage hot flashes through clothes?”
Today, we’re exploring how to approach dressing during perimenopause and menopause, focusing on specific style strategies that support rather than ignore or hide these changes. Our goal is always to empower you. Whether you're feeling bloated, dealing with hot flashes, or simply searching for a fashion sense that resonates with your evolving self, we’ll provide you with actionable tips and examples to help you feel confident and badass.
Fashion Throughout the Decades: The Importance of Clothing During Later-in-Life Changes
Our clothes serve as a form of self-expression and can significantly affect how we feel. We’ve written countless articles about how clothes are a certain kindness to ourselves, or how enclothed cognition is absolutely a thing. Clothes help signal to the world where we stand in our lives, our values, and our personal attributes. When we acknowledge that our bodies are changing, it’s equally crucial to adapt our fashion choices to align with these transitions. Instead of amplifying the feeling of being out of touch or disconnected from your body, putting thought into your clothes can be a form of self-care.
What to Wear During Menopause (and Perimenopause and Postmenopause)
First: The Importance of a Good Supportive Bra
It may sound trivial, but having a well-fitted, supportive bra can elevate your entire look. So many of our clients aren’t wearing the proper size, so as your body changes we do recommend that you get refitted. This step is often forgotten but can significantly affect how your clothes look and how confident you feel. It’s vital and often overlooked during this phase of life.
Steps to Ensure a Good bra Fit:
Get Fitted Regularly: As your body changes, it’s essential to be professionally fitted at least once a year. Call up your local shop and see if they do fittings.
Explore Your Options: Look for bras designed for your current stage of life, including those with more support or moisture-wicking materials. We also suggest keeping bra band extenders on hand for days when you want more breathing room.
Helpful Steps to find the perfect bra:
Try Different Styles: Don’t just stick to one type. Explore underwire vs. wireless, moldable cups, or bralettes to find what feels best at this time in your life.
Focus on Comfort: A comfortable bra will not only make you feel more confident, but it can also enhance posture and improve the overall silhouette of your clothes.
Second: Leaning on Magnetic Pops of Color, Patterns, & Metallics
Not sure what Magnetic means? Be sure to check out that profile and find your own →
Colors can significantly influence how we feel and can be a great way to express our personalities. As we navigate while redefining ourselves, incorporating bright metallics or bold colors can symbolize empowerment, vitality, and self-assurance. We find that a lot of our clients move towards a more Magnetic style personality as they get older. A kind of “coming into their own.” This is a wonderful way to signal to the world, and yourself, that despite all the chaos happening internally, you are still important, valuable, and (you guessed it) Magnetic.
Examples of Color Choices for fashion:
Brightly Colored Blouses: A pop of color in the upper half of your body can also draw attention away from areas you may not wish to emphasize, especially on days you might not be feeling as confident about bloating.
Statement Accessories: If you prefer neutrals for your clothing, opt to accessorize with a bold handbag, shoes, or scarf that can introduce color without being overwhelming. This is where metallics really do some great work. Think: a metallic shoe with a monochromatic outfit. Easy and fun!
Column of Color: This is a trick we use with clients all the time to create length.
The first way is to create an inner column of the same color with a different-color outer shell. Example: a single-color dress layered with a patterned duster or a monochromatic top and trouser combo layered with a blazer in a different color.
Second, you can do an outer column of color by creating the color block with a monochromatic bottom & outer layer paired with a different color underneath the outer layer on top—like a full suit.
You can even go further, and make it ALL monochromatic: pants, inner layer, and outer layer.
It may sound more complicated than it is, but it’s an easy formula. And we ALWAYS recommend you create easy outfit formulas for yourself.
Third: Clothing That Makes You Feel Confident
As we navigate the transitions of perimenopause and menopause, it's common for our bodies to undergo changes, including shifts in waistlines, weight distribution generally, or temporary bloating. Rather than fixating on these changes or feeling wholly negative about them, we suggest trying to focus on clothing that makes you feel your best—comfortable and confident.
High-Waisted Pants with Elastic or Drawstring: These stylish options gently hug the waist while offering plenty of room in the hips and thighs. Pair them with a tucked-in blouse (French tuck!) or a loose top to create a look that highlights your figure. We love wrap tops, too, for this. It’ll help you reconnect with your body’s shape. If you don’t like the look of elastic all around or the gathering in the front, there are plenty of options these days that have a flat front that look like normal trousers and elastic along the back to provide that extra give.
Tops to Try: We love tops made of linen for their breathability. Try tie tops, or ones that have a slightly longer cut, which provide a bit more coverage if you’re having a day where you’re not “feelin' it.”
Go-to Dresses: Choose dresses that encourage comfort while allowing your body to fluctuate throughout the day. These often include A-line dresses, wrap dresses, or shift dresses. A-line and wrap will help accentuate a waist, if you want to. Shift dresses will completely camouflage a mid-section and can show off your fabulous legs! We have found that when our clients have a go-to dress or two that they love, they are more excited to say “yes” to whatever invitation they get.
Our picks:
Pants: These High Waisted Drawstring Trousers with Vertical Lines from ALOHAS
Tops: These tops from Dissh are made from linen, but have a lovely contemporary front tie closure.
Thoughtful Tips for Putting Together a Wardrobe for Perimenopause, Menopause and Postmenopause
Consider the Fit: Opt for fabrics with some stretch, such as cotton blends, stretch silk, or jersey. These materials not only feel great but are also forgiving, allowing you to move with ease. Or if you’re looking for something that cinches or meets at the waist, consider elastic waistbands, drawstrings, stretchy belts, or wrap closures. They’ll fluctuate and move with you.
Tailoring for That Perfect Fit: Don’t hesitate to take your favorite pieces to a tailor. We always opt for tailoring. Small adjustments can make a world of difference in how you feel about your outfit and enhance your overall confidence. If you don’t have a good tailor you trust, we suggest you take the time to find one. They are an important player in your wardrobe support team!
Highlight What You Do Love With Your Clothing
As you assess your wardrobe, take the time to think about what you want to accentuate about your body. What areas are you proud of? Pinpointing these features can help you choose clothing that makes you feel confident and radiant and help your focus on body-acceptance by highlighting and reinforcing what you love about you!
Examples of How To Accentuate Features:
Beautiful Shoulders: Off-the-shoulder tops or sleeveless dresses can accentuate your neckline and shoulders, allowing you to shine. Like this!
Sculpted Legs: Skirts or tailored shorts can highlight your legs, especially when paired with flattering shoes. We particularly love bottoms with pleats because they help create a bit of movement and shape. Like this!
Elegant Neck: Love your long and elegant neck? Try a short updo and drop earrings. Like this! Or this! V-necks or unbuttoning that extra button on a collared shirt can accentuate your long neck.
Helpful Steps:
Reflect on Your Body: Write down your favorite physical features and brainstorm outfits that draw attention to those attributes. Remember, we aren’t conditioned to see ourselves objectively and sometimes actively training yourself to focus on the positives will help those negative Gremlins of self-doubt that creep in.
Try Before You Commit: When shopping, try on various styles that allow you to show off the features you love most. Don’t settle for anything less than feeling good about yourself. And give yourself permission to return something if you find yourself dreading wearing it (we’ve all been there).
Camouflaging Changes
While we want to celebrate our bodies, certain aspects—like bloating or unwanted weight gain—might make you feel less confident. It’s perfectly okay to want to camouflage these areas instead of drawing attention to them. There are objective tools of wardrobing that can help with that.
Examples of Camouflaging Techniques:
Layering: Using layers can help manage body temperature variations due to hot flashes while stylishly camouflaging areas you’d prefer not to emphasize. A lightweight cardigan over a fitted top can conceal without overwhelming, plus you can whip it off quickly if the temperature feels too much all of a sudden.
Dark-tinted Fabrics: Wearing darker colors can give an elongating effect and can be trickier for others to notice fluctuations, in the event that you’re feeling self-conscious about it.
Structured Outfits: Structured blazers or tailored coats can help create a streamlined silhouette, making you look Polished while providing comfort. We love this look. It can also help you feel a bit more put-together than an unstructured cardigan.
Fourth: Consider Fabric Choices
With menopause often comes fluctuating body temperature and changes like hot flashes or night sweats. Choosing the right fabrics can make a significant difference in comfort and style.
Examples of Fabrics to Consider:
Cotton and Linen: Natural fibers like cotton and linen are breathable and great for managing moisture.
Moisture-Wicking Materials in Winter: During the cooler months, merino wool can be a keeper. It’s a wool, but has excellent breathability. Even athletes love merino wool!
Silk or Silk Blends: These can add a luxurious feel to your outfit while still allowing for breathability.
Fifth: Layering for Comfort and Style
Layering isn’t just functional for temperature regulation; it can also be a stylish fashion choice. Layering provides flexibility to meet the fluctuating temperature caused by hot flashes or environmental changes. We suggest that layers closest to your body be thin, lightweight, and breathable.
Helpful Steps:
Plan for Temperature Variations: When dressing, consider where you’ll be during the day and how the temperature might change, customizing layers accordingly. Make sure you’ll be comfortable wearing just the bottom layer. For example, if you prefer to not have your arms showing, make sure your bottom layer covers your arms, so you feel good if you need to take off the top layers.
Be Strategic with Your Choices: Ensure each layer harmonizes with your outfit while maintaining comfort. Make sure they mix and match in a way that you are still happy with your outfit. Ask yourself: Do I like this outfit with only the bottom and top layer? Will an accessory help pull it all together no matter which layer I’m wearing?
Sixth: Brands that Support You
Navigating what brands to shop at during this transitionary period can be confusing. There's no reason to feel restricted or out of place in “younger” brands or styles. (Honestly, we kind of hate that.) Many brands craft clothes for empowerment and might be just right for you.
Advice on Shopping Smart:
Reevaluate Your Favorite Brands: Many brands tend to feature versatile options that can suit varying ages and body types. Explore their latest collections, and don’t be afraid to try newer styles! Here are some brands we love:
Mix Up Your Wardrobe: Don’t be afraid to mix things up by incorporating a new trend or style, like pairing a contemporary jacket with a Classic pair of trousers. Stay curious and stay open to help you feel youthful and fun while honoring your beautiful life!
Some brands we love that are inclusive and make excellent pieces that would work for perimenopause and menopause life stages. There are just a few:
Reminders:
Don’t Limit Yourself: Remember that clothes are for all women. Just because a brand targets younger audiences doesn’t mean you can’t wear it too! Mixing and matching and adding a youthful “twist” to your wardrobe, can be a great way to signal: “I’m curious!” “I’m fun!” “I’m relevant!”
Join Online Communities: Engage in fashionable circles on social media that embrace style through all ages; they can provide fresh inspiration. Or ask to have this discussion in your company’s ERG. Here’s a group we love, and another one. Even this subreddit can be helpful.
Seventh: Investing in YOU
We know it can be overwhelming knowing where to start, so we whipped up a Strategic Shopping List for you. In addition to purging clothes that no longer serve you (donate, sell, thrift away), you’ll want to invest in your new body so that you feel supported and good about yourself through this life change.
10 piece STRATEGIC SHOPPING LIST FOR PERIMENOPAUSE AND MENOPAUSE:
Blazers: Perfect for layering, they can elevate any outfit and help you feel more put-together and Polished without going overboard. Often, women describe themselves as feeling “frumpy” at this phase of life. A blazer helps give structure and can be a great way to balance out stretchy and comfortable pieces. Also, there’s more flexibility with sizing in blazers, so you can invest with confidence!
Boot-Cut or Flare Jeans: A great pair of jeans can be your go-to. Newer styles are moving away from skinny jeans, which is (thankfully) more comfortable and flexible anyway. A lot of women describe their newer body shape as feeling “rectangular.” A boot-cut jean will create shape and curve in your body. And if you are self-conscious about your mid-section, opt for a high-waist.
Classic Footwear: Investing in stylish yet comfortable shoes can ground any outfit while keeping your feet happy. At this time in your life, it’s also possible that you’ll experience swelling in your feet. Opting for comfy but stylist shoes will help you keep moving all day and help you feel supported. We suggest having a kick-around shoe and a boot. While we often don’t love trends, an on-trend kick-around shoe can instantly make you feel, well, cool. Same goes for boots.
Underwear / Bras: We already talked about the significance of this, but a great well-fitting bra is essential. Same goes for underwear. Pay particular attention to the material.
Makeup: Often overlooked, but makeup and skincare can be a great investment for you at this time in your life. A lot of women experience changes in sensitivity to smell, so you might want to revisit certain scents in your makeup kit. We recommend focusing on skincare rather than makeup. A lot of our clients have found that “less is more,” and that focusing on hydrating formulas (or even BB or CC creams) rather than full-coverage looks is the best way to go. May we boldly recommend making a Q the Makeup Artist appointment with Rebecca Robles? She can guide you through a personalized session on how to care for your skin and apply makup at this stage in your life.
Drawstring or Elastic Waist Pants: Weight fluctuates, so why shouldn’t your pants? Drawstring pants are an easy-breezy way to feel cool. Today’s flexible-waist pants are actually fashionable and modern. (Unlike those in the 90s). We recommend truly investing in material and quality here. A quality drawstring pant can make you feel like a million bucks. Poorly made ones that start losing shape over a couple of washes will quickly make you feel less put together. If you want a more Polished and professional look, opt for pants with a flat front and the elastic in the back, so it’s hidden but still gives you the flexibility to let your body change how it needs to!
Merino Wool Cardigan or Sweater: We love merino wool for how it breathes. A longer cardigan (creating a column of color) made of merino wool will be wonderful for both elongating your body and also for breathability. Plus you can easily whip it off should you get a hot flash!
Cotton Layers: Cotton is breathable and versatile yearround, so take the time to invest in thin cotton layers in varying sleeve lengths.
Statement Jewelry: Investing in a couple of pieces that make you feel great is a wonderful way to put a punctuation mark on an outfit. A necklace that draws the eye, or earrings that drop down to accentuate an elegant neck . . . think about what you love about your body that you’d like to draw attention to. Jewelry can be the way to show that off consistently. It can easily be a signature, too.
A Go-To Dress: It makes us sad when our clients decline invites to parties or social events because they don’t have anything they feel great in. Take the time to find that one versatile dress that will make you WANT to go to events. Choose a style that works with your body fluctuation patterns. Perhaps it’s an A-line style that hits at your waist with an A-line skirt; maybe it’s a wrap dress. We repeat: decide what you want to accentuate and camouflage, and choose the style that you feel great in with or without shapewear, no matter if you are slightly bloated that day or not. Let the dress elevate your mood and confidence!
Helpful Steps:
Prioritize Quality Over Quantity: Aim to invest in fewer high-quality pieces rather than a multitude of lower-quality items. As always, we go for Buy Better, Buy Less, Wear Longer. You want your purchases to really make you feel good.
The BU Way
Navigating the changes that come with perimenopause and menopause can be overwhelming, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and exploration. By choosing to work with your body's transformations through clothing, you can reconnect with your body, rather than feeling betrayed by it. You’ll find that this is a really important form of self-care that will boost your confidence and style.
With mindful decisions regarding waistlines, color/metallic choices, fabric/material selections, layering strategies, branding, and supportive undergarments, dressing during this time can become a positive expression of who you are now. Remember that style ultimately has nothing to do with trends, but about your unique essence. Even amidst life’s transitions. Honor your body and enjoy this new journey of personal expression through dressing thoughtfully.